Going Deep (Imperfect Love Book 2) Read online

  “I know things have been crazy, but I’m ready to talk.”

  “Good!” Olivia exclaims. “How about tonight? Nick and I have some news to share. We can go to dinner and afterward Nick can take Reed for the night while you and I talk.”

  “That sounds great.” But then I remember I have to work. I’m about to tell her tonight won’t work after all, when I remember it’s Killian who’s hired me. “Is Killian invited too?” I ask.

  “We were planning to invite him…Is that okay?”

  “It is.” I smile, and Olivia gives me a questioning look. I’m sure while I’m at work she’ll be writing down a list of questions to ask me tonight. The first one starting with what’s going on with Killian.

  “Great,” she says. “I’ll text you the time and location.”

  I give Reed a kiss goodbye and head out. It’s already after nine o’clock. If I don’t haul ass, I’m going to be late to my meeting. Figuring it will be quicker to take a cab—even though it’s more expensive—I start to head toward where they all wait, when I see Killian’s car still in the same spot with him in it. At least today he’s being more practical by driving a Dodge Challenger. I wonder just how many cars this man has. I mean, we live in New York. You barely need one.

  He lowers his window. “Let’s go.”

  “You waited for me?”

  “Yeah, I figured you could use a ride to work.” He shoots me that damn panty-dropping wink. “Plus, that means I get you to myself for a little longer.”

  “I thought you had a meeting,” I say.

  “I do, now get in before we’re both late to our meetings!” He laughs.

  “Fine!”

  We stop at a coffee shop on the way and Killian buys us both a coffee and a breakfast sandwich. We arrive at the building I work in with ten minutes to spare. I tell him he can just drop me off in front of the building, but he insists on finding a parking spot.

  “Thank you,” I tell him. “I totally would’ve been late.”

  “No problem. I told you I have a meeting as well.”

  “Oh!” I say, remembering Olivia’s and my conversation. “Olivia and Nick want to have dinner tonight with us. They have an announcement to make.”

  “Sounds good,” Killian replies. He turns off the car and gets out. We start heading toward the building. “Do you know what they’re announcement is? Nick said she’s been a bit off lately.”

  I roll my eyes. I probably shouldn’t tell him, but he’ll find out tonight anyway. “Olivia hasn’t told me yet, but she’s pregnant.”

  Killian stops in his place. “Really? Well, damn. She must not have told Nick yet, because he would’ve told me.”

  “I think she was living in denial for a little while.” I laugh. “Good thing they’re getting married in a few months.”

  Killian laughs as well. “They’re going to need a bigger place for their growing football team.” He presses the button for the elevator.

  “I put my mom’s house up for sale,” I admit. “I told Olivia I’m moving out as soon as it sells.” The elevator doors open and we get in. I press the button to the floor I need to go to.

  The doors close and Killian corners me. “I’m sorry about all the shit I said to you…about you living off Olivia. I didn’t know, Giselle. I really am fucking sorry.” He runs his finger down the side of my face. It’s such a simple yet intimate gesture.

  “It’s okay, you were right. I need to stand on my own two feet.” I give him a small smile so he knows I really don’t hold a grudge over what he said.

  “Stand on your own two feet?” He eyes me incredulously. “I don’t even know how you stand at all with all that damn weight on your shoulders.”

  “I’m handling it,” I tell him. “I’m hoping if I prove myself at work, I’ll get a promotion sooner rather than later. And once I do, it will mean better pay and benefits.” The elevator dings and the doors open. I check and it’s my floor.

  “And if you get it, are you going to quit your other job?” he asks as we step off the elevator.

  “I would like to say yes, but I have to see how much I’ll be making,” I tell him honestly. “Even if I sell my mom’s house, I’ll still have to pay for another place to live, plus my sister’s school and my student loans.” I sigh. “Thank you for what you did for my mom. I don’t like that you went behind my back, but the truth is, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I got denied the loan.” I open the door to my small office that my boss, Lydia, has given me and have a seat. Killian sits across from me.

  “You’re welcome,” he says. I pull my laptop out of my bag and open it up. It makes the sound indicating it’s starting up. I type my password in and pull up my calendar since it has all the details I need for my client who is due to arrive any minute. And that’s when I notice Killian is sitting in my office. With me. I was so focused on our conversation, I didn’t even think about the fact that he didn’t just drop me off. He got out and followed me in.

  “Umm…Kill, you’re in my office,” I say dumbly.

  Of course he laughs. “I know. I told you I have a meeting.”

  “Okay…well, I do too. And…” I click on this morning’s agenda. “Mr. Blake is due to arrive here any second.” Killian nods, and I gasp.

  Mr. Blake.

  Killian Blake.

  Killian is my ten o’clock appointment.

  Motherfucker.

  “Why are you on my calendar?” I hiss. “This is not the place to play these games.”

  “What games?” he says, sounding genuinely confused. “I made an appointment with the receptionist yesterday. She told me you had a last minute cancelation.”

  “Kill,” I snap. Then I stand and walk over to the door to close it so nobody hears our conversation.

  “What?”

  “This is my place of employment. I am trying to establish a career here.” I don’t understand why he’s doing this. “This isn’t A Touch of Class.”

  “I know…it’s Fresh Designs.” He nods once. “I’ve decided it’s time to have my condo professionally decorated. I’m tired of the whole bachelor look.”

  “You’re serious?” I ask.

  “I am.”

  “You’re just doing this to find another way to give me money…but I work under Lydia, Kill. I don’t get paid commission.”

  “I’m not doing this to give you money.” He grins. “Now, treat me like any other client. Where do we begin?”

  I fall into my chair and take a deep breath. This man is encroaching himself in every part of my life. And if I’m honest with myself, I kind of like it.

  * * *

  “How did you know I was pregnant and I didn’t?” Olivia laughs.

  “Maybe because I know you.” I grin and give her a hug, but when I pull away, she’s frowning. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing…it’s just…you know me so well, yet I had no idea you were”—Olivia looks around and whispers—“working every night. I’m such a horrible friend.” Tears pool in her lids and fall down, and I pull her in for another hug.

  “Stop it. I kept it a secret from everyone. You couldn’t have known.”

  “Known what?” Celeste asks.

  Olivia’s eyes go wide, and she gives me an apologetic look.

  “That Giselle and I are dating,” Killian says, pulling me into his arms. “We were hiding it for a while.”

  Celeste’s face contorts into a look of disbelief. “Really? I thought you hated her almost as much as you hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you,” Killian says. “And I definitely don’t hate Giselle.” He grabs my face and kisses me hard, his tongue quickly delving into my mouth. When we break from our kiss, he gives me a wink and a smile, and butterflies attack my belly.

  “Okay…on that strange note…” Celeste stands. “I need to get going. I’m heading to Paris tomorrow morning.”

  “You’ll be back for Reed’s baptism, though, right?” Olivia asks.

  “Of course.” She makes
her way around the table, giving everyone—besides Killian—a kiss on their cheek.

  “Don’t you have something to say to her?” I nudge Killian.

  “Hey Celeste, wait.” Killian stands and approaches Celeste. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the shit I’ve said to you. You might be friends with Nick, but I never took the time to get to know you. Maybe we can change that.”

  Celeste gives him an incredulous look like she’s waiting for the punchline. But when it doesn’t come, she says, “Okay…well, thank you…yeah….” She gives me a soft smile before she turns to leave.

  Nick and Olivia are both staring at Killian, stunned as he walks back over and sits next to me.

  “You ready to go?” he whispers into my ear. We spent the day going over what he wants done to his condo. We went to lunch and to several stores so he could show me what his tastes are. His likes: whatever I like. His dislikes: whatever I don’t like. When Olivia texted that we were meeting for dinner at six o’clock, and it was already five, Killian insisted on us driving together.

  “Actually, I made plans for tonight,” I tell him. His jaw visibly ticks.

  “Tonight is my night with you,” he comments.

  “Until nine o’clock,” I counter and stand. “Reed, come give your favorite aunt some loving.” I pick up my sweet soon-to-be-godson and pepper kisses all over his face. He giggles and my heart melts.

  “You ready?” Olivia asks me.

  “Yep,” I answer her. Then I give Nick a smile. “Congratulations, soon-to-be-daddy of two. Tag, your it.”

  He gives me a confused look.

  “You weren’t around when your fiancée was pregnant the first time. The cravings, the night sweats, the freaking out if she was gaining the right amount of weight. Waking me up in the middle of the night to go out and buy her orange juice because she read it will make the baby move more.”

  Nick laughs and Olivia groans.

  “I can’t wait for every damn minute of it,” Nick says and gives Olivia a kiss. “I will gladly buy you orange juice at midnight, Brown-Eyes.” Olivia grins at the nickname he’s called her since the day they became reacquainted.

  Then Nick pulls me into a hug. “In case I haven’t told you enough, thank you for being there for her.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. She’s my best friend.”

  “You’re more than that to her…to us…you’re family,” Nick points out.

  “Thank you,” I say, trying not to get choked up.

  I start walking toward the exit when a hand grips my arm. I feel a hard body against my back, and then I smell the sweet yet masculine scent that is all Killian. “You made me think you were going out with another guy,” he growls into my ear.

  “You assumed that,” I say.

  He chuckles. “I want you in my bed tonight.” My body stiffens at his words, and then he adds, “To sleep, Giselle. Just to sleep.” I make sure not to react to what he’s said, but inside, I’m not sure whether to smile that he enjoys my company enough to just want to simply spend time with me, or pout that deep down I was hoping he wanted to have sex with me. Because if he did, that would mean he wants me on a deeper level. One that allows him to be with me in a way that he hasn’t been with anyone in over ten years. Yet, at the same time the thought of him wanting me scares the ever-loving shit out of me because I’m not in a place to want that. I can’t want that.

  “I can’t,” I say. “I’m hanging out with Olivia tonight.”

  “All right,” he concedes. “But my bed will miss having you in it.”

  I release a giggle. “Your bed or you?”

  “Me…definitely me.”

  Olivia and I end up riding back with Killian since we’re going to Nick’s place. He’s staying at our place with Reed. I told Olivia we could hang out on the patio, but she said if we were there, Nick or Reed might interrupt us and she wants some time with me alone.

  Once we’re inside, we change into comfier clothes Olivia has here. I head out onto Nick’s balcony with a thick down comforter for us to bundle up in, and Olivia follows, bringing me out a glass of wine and her a bottle of water.

  “Okay, start from the beginning,” she says, and I do. I tell her everything, beginning with my mom and her illness. I tell her about my paying for everything since my dad left us. And then I tell her about Killian being with me when my mom tried to commit suicide and how he went behind my back to help my mom get the treatment I couldn’t afford.

  “I’ve only known Killian for a short time,” she says, “but I’ve never seen him so smitten before.” She giggles. “Nick thought maybe he was gay but didn’t want anyone to know.”

  My thoughts go back to this morning when I woke up to Killian expertly eating me out. The way he fingerfucked me like it was his job, one he took seriously. My cheeks heat up and I’m thankful we’re sitting in the dark, so she can’t see just how affected I am.

  “Trust me, Killian is not gay.”

  Olivia giggles. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “With what?”

  “With your second job…you can’t date Killian and escort.”

  “We’re not dating.”

  Olivia gives me an oh please look.

  We head back inside and Olivia’s phone goes off. She smiles and shows me the text. It’s of Nick and Reed lying in bed together blowing her a kiss.

  “You should go home,” I tell her.

  “What? No.” She shakes her head.

  “Yes. Go home and be with your boys. I’ll call you a car, so you don’t have to catch a cab.”

  “Wait, you aren’t coming?” she asks. Then she slowly nods her head. “You’re totally going to see Killian, aren’t you?”

  “Your car will be here in ten minutes,” I say, not answering her question. A few minutes later, Olivia locks up Nick’s place. I walk her down and wait until she’s safely in the car. Then I head back up to Killian’s place.

  I knock once, and he opens the door, his eyes slowly raking down my body. “Are you here to invite me to your sleepover?” He smirks playfully. I glance down and groan when I see I’m still wearing Olivia’s Victoria’s Secret Pink hoodie and sweats.

  “Olivia went home. I was wondering if…uh…if you’re up for company?” I ask nervously, suddenly second-guessing my idea of inviting myself over.

  But then Killian grants me a sexy lop-sided grin and says, “I’m always up for your company,” and my nerves are instantly calmed.

  “Sons of Anarchy?” I suggest.

  “Sounds good.”

  We go straight to Killian’s room. He folds his comforter down and throws me a pillow. We climb into bed, but neither of us turn the television on.

  “Did everything go okay with Olivia?” he asks. A few strands of my hair falls out of my bun, and Killian reaches over and tucks them behind my ear.

  “It went good. We’re good.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “I guess I have you to thank.” I scoot closer to Killian. “Ever since you came into my life, it feels like everything has been turned upside down…in a good way.”

  “I haven’t really done anything…” he begins to say, but I stop him.

  “You took me to see my mom the day my dad left, you were there the day she tried to kill herself. It was your phone that saved her life. You sat with me in the hospital, you paid for her treatment…you even hired me so I wouldn’t have to have sex with other guys.” I lay my head down on Killian’s chest and my arm goes around his torso as I let out an exhausted yawn.

  “When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark,” Killian murmurs, and even though I can’t see him, I know he’s smiling.

  “That’s very sweet,” I tell him, “but it’s not from the book.”

  “Damn it.” He laughs. “Google keeps failing me.”

  “Read. The. Book.”

  Those are the last words I say before I fall asleep in Killian’s arms feeling safer and more content than I�
�ve ever felt in my life.

  * * *

  I wake up to an empty bed. When I open my eyes, I notice there’s a note.

  Good morning, beautiful,

  Going to the gym with Nick. There’s coffee waiting for you. I’ll be back soon.

  Xo Killian

  After my heart picks up speed and the butterflies in my belly attack my insides, I roll over and grab my phone to check the time. It’s eight a.m. on a Sunday and I have no plans. Before I get out of bed to make myself a cup of coffee, I click on my emails to see if there’s anything new. There’s one from Bianca, confirming the upcoming week’s schedule. Of course my entire week consists of Killian. I smile at the thought of getting to spend my evenings with him. Whether I want to admit it or not, the man is growing on me.

  I click out of it and send my sister a text, asking how she’s doing and suggest we get together soon. Then I send one to my mom’s doctor to ask if there are any updates and when he thinks she might be up for company.

  I climb out of bed and use the bathroom. As I’m walking to the kitchen, the front door opens. “Home already?” I yell. “I hope you brought me breakfast.” I’m only joking, but if he really did, brownie points for him.

  “Uncle Killian,” a tiny voice calls out. I stop in my tracks, looking down to make sure I’m decent. I woke up in the middle of the night, warm from Killian being wrapped around me, and took off my sweats, leaving me in only a shirt that barely covers my ass.

  “I’m so sorry!” Killian’s sister-in-law, Christina, says. “We didn’t realize Kill wasn’t here.”

  “Or that he would actually have a woman over,” Dylan adds. Christina shoots him a glare, and I laugh through my embarrassment.

  “It’s—it’s not like that…we’re not.”

  “We’re not what?”

  My eyes dart over to Killian, who is standing in the doorway in a pair of basketball shorts with his shirt slung around his neck. His entire upper half is covered in sweat. When he notices I’m ogling him, he smirks.

  “Your family is here.” I say, tilting my head toward them. His eyes move to them and widen. When he sees his niece, he grabs his shirt from around his neck and puts it back on.

  “Sorry, I thought Giselle was on the phone…or talking to herself.”